Teaching Empathy

Over the past few years, a handful of my students have felt disconnected from their peers and lack empathy. Mirriam Webster defines empathy as, “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” My students don’t feel respected by each other and building empathy is a skill we work on all year long, sometimes with little growth. I know this is something my students want to work on because every year they take a Social Emotional Learning (SEL) survey and it is always identified as a weakness. Social Emotional Learning is defined by CASEL as "...an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions." To help students further their emotional intelligence we must teach them compassion and perspective taking. In the survey they take, they either identify themselves as someone who lacks empathy, their peers as people who lack empathy, or both. Whenever my students self-identify an area of need, it’s important to acknowledge how they’re feeling and start addressing it. Not only is an area of need being identified in my classroom, but it is being identified throughout the entire school. I teach in a Kindergarten through fourth-grade school, so it’s surprising to me that so many children feel the lack of empathy in our school. I always presume that having a lack of empathy is something that mostly pops up in middle school. It’s our responsibility as teachers and as a school to listen to the concerns of our students and to be responsive.

Based on my former students' needs, I will explore the best ways to teach empathy in the classroom. I will look at the trends in empathy, educational theories about empathy, curriculums teaching empathy, best practices for teaching empathy, and if/how we can use technology as a resource when teaching empathy. I will also research how technology has impacted children in building and showing empathy for others.

Piaget, Kohlberg, & Hoffmann

The educational theories about understanding and developing empathy have developed and changed throughout the years. Some of the theorists, psychologists, and educators were Martin L. Hoffman, Jean Piaget, and Lawrence Kohlberg. One of the leading educational theorists around building and showing empathy is Professor Martin L. Hoffman.

Jean Piaget

Fig 1: Comparison of Heteronomous and Autonomous Moral Reasoning Table https://beckylongoria.weebly.com/moral-development.html

Piaget’s Moral Development Theory consisted of two stages based on age. “The first type of morality is a morality obedience. Piaget called this “heteronomous” morality, reflecting roots meaning regulation by others.” (DeVries, 1997, p. 5). Children are in the first stage from ages 5-10. Heteronomous Moral Reasoning comes from outside authorities, typically parents or adults, that create rules for the children to follow. “According to Piaget, adults interfere with children’s moral internalization because of the gross differential of power between adults and children. Parents rules are enforced without children’s understanding their rationales, and they are respected only because of parental authority.” (Hoffman, 2000, p. 128). Parents enforcing rules without rationalizing them or explaining them to children hurts children’s understanding of why the rule exists and what purpose it serves. Parents could help build empathy in their children by explaining why the rule is in place whether it’s to keep them safe, others safe, it’s a societal norm, etc. In addition, as seen in Figure 1, children in this stage of development are given rules to follow and believe the rules are “just so” and unchangeable. They believe breaking a rule is bad and they will be punished for it. Children also believe that the guilty should be punished for their “bad” behavior because they broke the rules, no matter the intention.

From ages 10 and up, children enter the second stage of Moral Reasoning, Autonomous. “The second type of morality is autonomous, reflecting roots meaning self-regulation.” (DeVries, 1997, p. 5). As children age, they discover that the rules are created by someone which means they can also be changed and be part of creating the rules. They learn how rules can have multiple points of view and breaking them doesn’t mean they’re “bad” because they might have a good reason for breaking them or their intentions might be good. Children in this stage are more self-aware and understanding of other’s intentions and feelings. This is when children start to show and grow empathy because they are able to understand multiple perspectives and see a perspective outside of their own.

Lawrence Kohlberg

Figure 2: Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development https://www.simplypsychology.org/kohlberg.html

Piaget and Kohlberg both studied children and their moral development. They both focused on the moral development in young children and how early stages of moral reasoning are connected to children being rewarded or punished for their behavior. Both theorists followed stages in moral development, however, the ages and amount of stages differ. Piaget and Kohlberg both agree on the importance of social interaction when children are learning and developing their morals.

Building upon Piaget’s work, American Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg created his own Theory of Moral Development. According to Kohlberg, moral development, “...represents the transformations that occur in a person’s form or structure of thought. The content of values varies from culture to culture; hence the study of cultural values cannot tell us how a person interacts with his social environment, or how a person goes about solving problems related to his/her social world.” (Hoffman & Hersh, 1977, p. 54). Kohlberg’s Theory consists of 6 different stages and unlike Piaget’s, his Theory of Moral Development continues into adulthood. Stages 1 and 2 are from ages 3-7, stages 3 and 4 are from ages 8-13, and stages 5 & 6 occur in adulthood. “In stages 1 and 2, which he called preconventional, the child conceives of right acts as those that enable him to avoid punishment (stage 1) or to make a good or fair deal (stage 2). In the conventional stages, 3 and 4, right acts are those that gain the approval of others (stage 3) or that consist of doing one’s duty or following society’s rules (stage 4). Finally, in the postconventional stages, 5 and 6, the child is guided by respect for laws and moral rules (stage 5)—though he recognizes them as somewhat arbitrary and not always valid—or by abstract ethical principles such as justice and equality (stage 6).” (Doorey, 2024). Figure 2 illustrates the different stages and levels of Moral Development according to Kohlberg.

Stages one and two make up the pre-conventional level and consist of moral reasoning based on reward and punishment. Children at these stages focus on avoiding punishment when breaking a rule and receiving rewards when following the rules. This is very similar to Piaget’s first stage of morality, heteronomous. The rules are established and breaking them will lead to punishment, while following them will lead to reward. Children in this stage aren’t self-aware yet because they believe the rules are stagnant and they are established by an authoritative figure in their lives. From the example given in the video below, a student in stage one doesn’t help his friend in a fight because he’s worried he will get in trouble with an authority figure, like his teacher. The student in stage two considers the benefit of helping the student in the fight because he might help her in the future. (Sprouts, 2019, 0:34).

Stages three and four make up the conventional level and consist of moral reasoning based on external ethics. In these stages, children are more aware of societal norms and rules. They follow society’s rules because they believe it’s best for everyone and it will help to maintain order in their lives. They look at life outside of themselves and think for the good of the group, instead of just themselves. They want to follow societal norms and rules in order to gain approval from others and to feel welcomed into the group. They care about the perception of others and want to be well-liked by their peers. From the example given in the video above, a student in stage two wants to help, but doesn’t because no one else is, and she wants to be perceived as “good.” The teacher in stage four tells the students to stop fighting because he believes the school rules help to keep law and order. (Sprouts, 2019, 1:22).

Stages five and six make up the post-conventional level and consist of moral reasoning based on personal ethics. In these stages, people recognize the importance of societal rules and norms but follow their own moral compass whether or not it fits within societies expectations. They will break the rules if they believe it’s in the best interest of themselves or others because it is the “right thing to do” according to their moral reasoning. Kohlberg believed most people never reached stage six. From the example given in the video above, a student in stage five doesn’t think the others should be fighting, but she thinks it could be justified due to the student's behavior the day before. The headmaster in stage six believes in ethical principles and considers if the rules and actions are just. (Sprouts, 2019, 2:16)

Unlike Piaget’s Autonomous Moral Reasoning stage, Kohlberg’s stages three through six focus on society and others’ perceptions. Piaget focuses more on the individual child’s perception of the world and understanding how the world works. Piaget believes that with age and maturity, children will begin to see and understand multiple perspectives. Kohlberg believes children will understand the importance of societal rules and then some adults will reach full moral development when they create their own set of moral ethics no matter what the societal rules are. Both theories are linear and do not allow for moral regression. Once a person has reached the next stage, they can not return to an earlier stage.

Martin Hoffman

Figure 3: Hoffman’s Stages of Empathy Development Table (Schonert-Reichl & Oberle, 2011)

Martin Hoffman used the current moral-cognitive-development theory and further developed it by researching how empathy is developed. He theorizes that children learn empathy by, “...taking the perspective of others and actively integrating new ideas into one’s existing moral framework, and doing this mainly in the course of arguing and negotiating with peers over conflicting claims (e.g., over possessions).” (Hoffman, 2000, p. 131). Children need to learn and understand others' feelings and perspectives in order to build empathy in themselves and learn perspective-taking. He demonstrates how/when this should occur in his Four Stages of Empathy Development as seen in Figure 3. At 0:24, in the video below, there's an example of how children move throught the stages of development according to Hoffman.

The first stage is Global Empathy where infants, 0-12 months, aren’t aware of who they are compared to others and feed off of the emotions of the people around them. For example, infants will smile and laugh when someone else smiles and laughs at them. Hoffman describes this as an involuntary response from the child and is part of being human. The second stage, Egocentric Empathy which affects children ages 12-18 months, is when children become aware of themselves as different beings from the people around them. They recognize others’ emotions and can still mimic them.

Children are in the third stage during early childhood, specifically ages 2-8 where they have empathy for another’s feelings. They are aware of other’s feelings and perspectives and they begin to feel empathy towards them. Hoffman theorizes that children can understand other people’s perspectives even when they differ from their own. According to Hoffman, this stage occurs earlier than it does in both Piaget and Kohlberg’s Theories. Hoffman believes during this stage children begin to feel empathy at this point.

In Hoffman’s final stage during ages 8-12 years old, children can feel Empathy for Another’s Condition, including people they’ve never met. Children can recognize and identify another person or group’s perspective and empathize with them. “According to Hoffman (2000), empathy is strongly intertwined with social-cognitive development and thereby changes as children develop increased social-cognitive capacities, such as perspective-taking.” (Malti, Chaparro, Zuffiano, et al., 2016, p. 719). Hoffman believes children will become more empathetic with more social-cognitive development and must be given those opportunities in order to build empathy within themselves.

Kohlberg’s Critics

Figure 4: Pattern of Relative Change of Preferences of Moral Reasoning of Students with Initially Different Degrees of Moral Determination by Moral Stages (N= 844, Change Scores). (Lind, 2017, p. 109)

One criticism Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development faced is that university students regressed to lower stages. Kohlberg states his Stages of Moral Development are linear and people can’t regress. In a study conducted by Georg Lind on University students in Germany, Lind reported, “In general, there is no regression but a slight progression with regard to the cognitive structure of student’s moral judjement behavior.” (2017, p.108). Lind studied three groups of students based on Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development they identified as. He grouped them in like groups and documented their stages for 5 semesters. The graph above shows the data he collected for each group. Lind concluded, “The number of students whose judgment behavior has shown a high degree of determination by moral concerns (scale values 50 to 100) increases from 19.4 to 22.1 percent.” (2010, p. 108).

Another area of criticism that Kohlberg faces in his Stages of Moral Development is his lack of inclusion in his study. He studied White boys and didn’t include any females in his study. Typically, women don’t score as high as men in Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development, and “...such evidence would imply that women’s moral judgment, on average, is deficient when compared to that of men.” (Friedman, 2017, p. 25). A theory only researched using men as subjects is one-sided and can’t be used to measure the moral development of women. Carol Gilligan used both men and women in her study that used similar conditions to Kohlberg’s original study. She found that men valued justice, while women valued interpersonal relationships. Kohlberg’s theory didn’t account for women’s views, invalidating his results for women (Sinn, 2022, 2:51). “Kohlberg has already acknowledged a variety of ways in which his scale of moral development does not measure the whole of moral reasoning; it is limited to what he calls structural stages in the development of reasoning about justice and rights.” (Friedman, 2017, p. 40).

Building Empathy in Our Students

After researching, I’ve honed in on the three ways I plan on helping my students build empathy this year. I will demonstrate Teacher Empathy, implement explicit instruction, and integrate technology. All students need to be taught empathy and SEL skills no matter their cultural, linguistic, academic, or socio-economic background. It is essential for all students and teachers can adapt their lessons based on the students they have in their classroom. Teachers need to be responsive to their students' needs and not just rely on a one-size-fits-all curriculum. 

Teacher Empathy

When researching best practices for teaching students empathy, I continued to see the same phrase, “Teacher Empathy.” Teacher Empathy is when “...teachers use their empathy to interact with students, and respond to them with an empathetic understanding in order to keep children from displaying antisocial behaviors that call for disciplinary actions, in the process of structuring a SEL climate in which children build their SEL skills.” (Usgaonker, 2024, p. 4). Showing students empathy in moments when a teacher might leap to a conclusion about a student’s intentions helps to model how students should react to their peers. For example, when you see a student walking around the classroom when they should be seated, don’t yell, “Sit back down!” Instead ask, “I notice you’re out of your seat. Do you need help with something?” The child might be grabbing paper towels because his peer spilled their water bottle, or she might be feeling tired and walking around the room to try to wake up. We don’t know what our students are thinking or doing all of the time, so it’s important that we model listening to them, instead of making assumptions. Building empathy is a hard skill to learn and use, so the adults in children's lives must help to model it.

Also, Teacher Empathy is so important because it helps to build classroom community and a safe space for our students.“Empathy reflects the teacher's ability to help students feel understood, heard, and supported and generally refers to one’s ability to accurately perceive the emotional state of others and effectively communicate this understanding (Spreng, McKinnon, Mar, & Levine, 2009).” (Kounenou, et al., 2021, p. 2). We don’t always know the situations our students are placed in outside of our classrooms, so we need to make sure we are safe adults for them to speak with. When our students see us supporting and being empathetic towards themselves and their peers, they are more likely to show empathy to their peers. “The assumption underlying the emphasis on teacher empathy is that empathic communication by the teacher will result in students experiencing greater understanding and acceptance and that they will thus develop more positive attitudes toward themselves and toward schooling.” (Fessbach & Fessbach, 2009, p. 85).

All in all, “The teacher appears to be key to successful implementation over time of empathy training programs addressed to students. If teachers are directly involved in the empathy training of students, it is likely that the programs will be more successful.” (Fessbach & Fessbach, 2009, p. 92). Teacher Empathy is an integral part of any empathy-building curriculum. Teacher Empathy should be exercised in every classroom, no matter the age.

Explicit Instruction & Practice

Whenever teaching SEL skills to our students, we must use explicit instruction as part of our curriculum. All students need to be explicitly taught what empathy is and how we show it to others. For example, “An empathy training program exhibiting bullying behaviors in adolescents found that explicit instruction and practice the cognitive abilities necessary for empathy are related to a significant decrease in bullying behaviors.” (Berliner & Masterson, 2015, p. 58). Not only do we need to explicitly teach students empathy, we need to give them opportunities to practice using empathy. “For early grades (Grades 1-2), the concept of empathy can be taught through role-playing and simulation (dramatization, puppets, and theater) which allows them to experience real-life situations while developing verbal and nonverbal communication, empathy and tolerance.” (Kounenou, et al., 2021, p. 22). When students are given a safe space to practice empathy, they are able to apply it in their daily lives too. Children can also use guided play to help them build empathy. "Guided play combines the best elements of free play and direct instruction: child autonomy and adult expertise. It provides an optimal medium for delivering educational content in ways that are enjoyable and that allow for genuine child agency, while constraining children’s activities to facilitate learning." (Weisberg, et al., 2016, p. 180). Children need explicit instruction, modeling, and a chance to role-play empathy in the curriculum.

Integrating Technology

One way to give students the opportunity to role-play includes integrating technology into the curriculum. “Children can develop empathy, as an essential socio-emotional skill through virtual play and various uses of technology only if a human (teacher, parent, peer, etc.) mediates the understanding and applicability of the game process and game results.” (Walker & Weidenbenner, 2019, p. 127). Since students will be using the technology in class, teachers are able to conduct meaningful conversations around the virtual play the students partake in. Technology can not replace the role of a teacher and students’ peers, but it can help aid in understanding. “Virtual environments are mere scaffolds that support the development of SEL and, specifically, empathy.” (Walker & Weidenbenner, 2019, p. 128). Integrating technology can help students continue to practice building empathy and is a great resource to incorporate into the curriculum.

Many schools have 1:1 devices for their students because of virtual learning during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Although students may have their own devices it’s still important for them to work on a shared device because“In the school environment, shared computers often have been found to lead to group interaction and cooperation rather than social isolation.” (Wartella & Jennings, 2000, p. 36). Having students gather around one device when playing the virtual SEL games will help students communicate about how they will use empathy. This way they are practicing using technology, but using communication skills with their peers.

Building Empathy Theories in Action

Limitations

As much as I love Teacher Empathy, I think it can be hard to implement because teachers need to remember to do it in the moment. It’s not a lesson that a teacher can prepare for ahead of time and set a devoted class period to. It feels like one of the areas that might be easily overlooked because a teacher has to be quick on their feet, and sometimes teachers are focused more on the current content area. Using an SEL program is essential for students because "Whether they are classroom-based or more comprehensive, the programs aim to promote students’ abilities to recognize and manage emotions, establish and maintain positive relationships, make responsible decisions, or handle interpersonal situations constructively. Students in these programs demonstrated significantly improved social and emotional skills, prosocial attitudes, positive social behaviors, and performance on academic achievement tests." (2011, p. 6) However, there are many cross-curricular opportunities to implement SEL in academic areas like math, reading, writing, science, and social studies. For example, you can discuss moments when characters show empathy or when they don't in the literature you're reading. In moments when characters don't show empathy, you can discuss a better way the character could've handled the situation to show empathy. Also, whenever students work in partnerships or with groups, they can discuss how everyone wants to feel in the group. This will help to remind students of the expectations and give them ways to better communicate with each other. 

When teaching SEL skills explicitly, students need to feel safe and in an environment that allows them to practice honestly. A teacher can help facilitate an environment where students feel safe, but students are in control of their own thinking and reactions. Some students have a hard time having a safe body and using kind words, so it might be difficult for a teacher to control some aspects of the environment.

Although a lot of schools became 1:1 during the pandemic, not every school did. Some teachers might not have access to enough technology for their students. This might affect the ability to use technology in the classroom to teach SEL skills.

Classroom Implementation

Teachers should lead by example and demonstrate empathy throughout the day. They need to consider the community they work in and what ways they want to work on showing empathy to their students. For example, a teacher can choose to show empathy when a student forgets their homework by telling the student, “That’s fine. I forget things at home, too. Did you have a busy morning? If you did, why don’t you take a few minutes to read and relax before we start math this morning?” This helps teachers connect with students by treating the students like human beings. We never know what students' home life is like, especially in the morning, and most of the time it’s out of the students' control. It’s important to not make assumptions and to model empathy for your class.

Explicit instruction of SEL skills should be taught throughout the year. Teachers need to set a designated time to teach the skills, but they can be embedded into other content areas. For example, when students are playing a game in math, teachers can explicitly teach turn-taking. This gives students a real-life moment to practice and role-play an explicit SEL skill.

Teachers can also use digital games and applications to help teach students SEL skills. Some games I've found for high schoolers are from the company iThrive Games. The three games are called The Museum of Me, Sam's Journey, and A Moment in Time. They are all designed to teach and integrate literacy and SEL skills. There are also apps to help students practice mindfulness, like Calm or Breath, Think, Do with Sesame. Those applications would be helpful to teach students to pause before they react to a situation. They could use those apps whenever they need to take a minute or break. They would also be very helpful to implement into a calm corner of the classroom for students to utilize as needed. This way the teacher can continue with the lesson while the student is provided with a meaningful deep breathing/mindfulness exercise.

One of the frameworks that looks promising for teaching students SEL skills like empathy is the RULER Approach from Yale University. The RULER website explains that "RULER is an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning (SEL) developed at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. RULER supports entire school communities in Understanding the value of emotions, Building the skills of emotional intelligence, and Creating and maintaining positive school climates." RULER would help in aiding cross-curricular opportunities because it's a framework, not a scripted curriculum. That means teachers can find meaningful ways to integrate SEL skills into their core content areas.